The Art of Being Unemployed

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Words By Francis Hadid.
I grew up with two conflicting messages: ‘do what you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life’ and ‘working is so bad, you get paid to do it’. And although they both followed me around like a Japanese death god, I feared the latter and vowed to a life of leisure. To me, that meant and still means low expectation academic pursuits and lazy afternoons under the sun. Then, I turned twenty-five and suddenly money, doubt and fear became the dominating theme to my existence. Am I gonna have a cubicle? What if the manager slaps my bum? Are they gonna ask me to sign Sharon’s birthday card? How does one respite when wearing the shackles of employment? I hadn’t yet started the job hunt and was already panicking. ‘Job hunt’ seems like the appropriate term because that’s exactly how it felt. I was a huntress, tip toeing through the forest of jobs, trying to catch a rare, feeble, beady eyed prey. What I didn’t know: it hadn’t been open season for a while; the forest was closed; I wasn’t the only hunter around, and my days of youth retirement were about to begin. I was unemployed.

Continue reading The Art of Being Unemployed

Top 10 Spelling and Grammar Errors in Gangsta Rap

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By Nick Taras.

I’m from the notorious middle-class Melburnian suburb known as Malvern. African-American Vernacular English is like a second language to me. In fact, due to Malvern’s dense population of elderly residents in retirement villages, the mortality rate is actually higher on the streets of Malvern than the ghettos of Compton.

But while I keep it gangsta on the streets of Malvern, I need to make a stand against gangsta rap. No musical genre butchers the English language more than rap music. Forget murder and drug use – rap music’s abuse of the English language is far more offensive than the actual lyrical content.

Errors like “you was” and “I is” are so prevalent in rap that I’ve had to ignore them in this article entirely. I’ve even had to disregard Tupac’s Ambitionz Az a Ridah, Timbaland’s The Way I Are and everything by Lil Wayne.

Instead, here are the top 10 worst spelling and grammar mistakes in gangsta rap. Continue reading Top 10 Spelling and Grammar Errors in Gangsta Rap

PRISM’s Guide to VICE Magazine

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By Michael Cunningham.

Here’s our take on Vice‘s 311-page “best of” edition, covering all 72 issues from 2003 to 2008. If this is their best of the best, we wanted to see how good it really was.

We’ll be covering the first 100 pages, which contain three sections: ‘Vice Guides,’ sex, and lastly, drugs. Each Vice article will have a short review along with a link to the original article (hyperlinks in the titles) so you can check it out for yourself and form your own opinion on whether it’s good or not.

 

Continue reading PRISM’s Guide to VICE Magazine

Teen Attempts to Rob Store With Banana, Then Eats It Before Police Arrive

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Here is a piece of news that really deserved more attention than it got, so here we are, giving it its due attention, five years later.

Sometime in 2009, 17-year-old boy John Szwalla bought a banana in preparation for a game changing store robbery. The teenager kept the banana hidden under his shirt and demanded money, insisting to the store clerk that he was actually hiding a real gun and not a banana. Owner Bobby Ray Mabe stated that he and a customer jumped the surprised teenager and held him until police arrived on the scene. While they waited, the teen ate the banana. When the police arrived they took pictures of the banana peel, joking among themselves about charging the teenager with destroying evidence. Szwalla was charged with attempted armed robbery, but surprisingly didn’t have an attorney considering it would have been the case of the century.

Banana robberies must be trending now, as recently a man in Philadelphia held up a convenience store with a banana (bonus points: he stole the banana from the same store he robbed) and demanded money and cigarettes before riding off into the sunset on his getaway bicycle parked outside. The whole thing’s on video, check it out below. What an exciting time to be alive!

Source

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Zen and the Art of South Park

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In their early days the creators of South Park, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, made a few animations capturing the essence of some of Allan Watts’ humorous teachings on Zen and Philosophy. The videos are no more than 2 or 3 minutes each, but have a very long lasting effect. Each video deals with a different area of life philosophy, such as living in the present moment, music and dance, the ego, fear of death, creative vs rational types and evolution. Enjoy!

Life and Music:

“I”:

Prickles and Goo:

Continue reading Zen and the Art of South Park

McBain: The Movie

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Back when the Simpsons was still good, a hilarious running gag was McBain and his macho action man appearance and poorly worded one liners; a clear parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger in all his movies. In true early Simpsons spirit the character was never overplayed and was given just the right amount of screen time, which happened to be on the Simpsons’ TV at the start of a few episodes. If you put all these short segments together you get McBain: the Movie! This stands as one of the best things I’ve ever seen and I cannot wait for the sequel: ‘You Have the Right to Remain Dead.’

MENDOOOZAAAAAA!

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Symptoms of Inner Peace

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Be on the lookout for signs of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have been filled with such peace, and it’s possible that people everywhere could come down with this strange virus in an epidemic of some sort. This could pose a serious threat to our fairly stable condition of conflict in the world. If you think you or anyone around you is coming down with inner peace then it is necessary that you alert the proper authorities.

Here are some symptoms to watch out for:

  • A tendency to think and act spontaneously, without the influence of fear due to past experiences and consequences.
  • A strange tendency to not over analyse the past.
  • A worrying ability to enjoy the present moment.
  • An alarming tendency to not stress about the future.
  • A loss of interest in judging people.
  • A loss of interest in judging yourself.
  • A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
  • Loss of inner and outer conflict.
  • A loss of the ability to worry (this is a serious symptom).
  • Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
  • Feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
  • Frequent attacks of smiling.
  • Frequent attacks of laughing with others.
  • An increased capacity for loving others and yourself.

WARNING

If you have some of the above symptoms seek a doctor’s advice immediately. If you have most of, or all of the above symptoms then it might be too late for cure. If that is the case, the best advice is to stay indoors and eliminate any contact with other humans, as your inner peace is highly contagious and could infect others. Prolonged exposure to the outside world could result in your inner peace turning into outer peace, if you know someone with some of these symptoms, remain exposed at your own risk.

This is a slightly edited version of Saskia Davis’ original Symptoms of Inner Peace © 1984. Saskia has been kind enough to allow me to share it with all of you, which I am happy to do. You can see the original in all its original glory at her website: http://symptomsofinnerpeace.net!

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